Diary of a girl transitioning to life abroad

Hey guys! Since I'm feeling expressive today, here's a post for those of you who's soon to be starting a new journey with life abroad. If you haven't guessed it already, the "girl" in the title is me. Not many of you know or noticed but I've been in Singapore for a month now. It surely wasn't a sudden decision but I never really told many people but just the ones close to me. I guess I really just didn't want to make a big deal out of it since I would only be gone for less than 2 years. Or maybe I just couldn't bear to leave if my friends threw me a farewell (in which will confirm happen if they knew when I was leaving hahaha)

Yeah, they didn't know. Only my boyfriend knew the exact date because he insisted to send me off. I initially didn't even want him to come because it'll be so hard to say goodbye. Eventhough it may be just a month till I come back again, it seems like years. Same goes to my friends and family. I guess I'm weird in my way that I'd rather leave silently than have a huge farewell and have everyone send me off. To me, it seems easier that when no one knows you're leaving, you wont have to worry about people missing you when they don't know you're gone. I'm truly blessed that my friends understood why I did that and still gave me their best wishes. Especially those of you whom took the time to personally send me a text, long or short, it was nice that you guys care and remembered. :')

It might have been selfish of me not telling my friends about it, but packing my bags and doing the last minute check list was hard enough, let alone just leaving like that. You wont want to know how many times I've quietly shed a few tears while packing. It was just a rush of mixed emotions, I felt excited for my journey, yet afraid and sad to leave home. I pictured myself missing out on all the life events back home and I'm abroad on my own too many times it was truly depressing. Especially when most of my friends are in KL and its me somewhere else. I always kept in mind that "no need to worry, I'll be coming back, 1.5 years will just fly by, and you can do it." It was actually how I got through it to come here feeling alright. Thankfully, the constant reminder of why I came here in the first place keeps that spark going, thus motivates me to keep striving for that dream and don't stop. Especially when there's so much at stake, I know I have to do my best and cant afford let my parents down. "When you know your goals and target in life, it will take you far because you know what you want." I just have to keep reminding myself every now and then. 

I'd have to say, I didn't really countdown till my last days in KL before going off. I basically just wanted to make the most out of 2016. And towards like the last week of being in KL, all my stuff were packed, paper work and immigration stuff were done, everyday I wakeup thinking to myself, "Shit, this is really happening. This is as real as it can gets. Too late to turn back already." Yeap I thought of not going and giving up, but I didn't want myself to regret years from now of what "could have been". I just needed to endure it for a little while, as it'll get better. I mean, "you only live once, you might as well make the most out of it."

The first two weeks was absolutely awkward for me. Everyone in class had their own gang and friends which left me very out of place not knowing how to fit in. And this is coming from someone who is very sociable and talkative AF. Everyday I was just waiting for class to end so I could just go home and be done with the day. Thankfully for Dav who was the first person that talked to me in class which made me feel not too left out. Also thanks to her, she took me in to her group and I will always be blessed for that. T.T You dont know how scary it was for me not knowing who to be grouped with and if you pick the wrong people they're going to drag you down and you cant do anything about it. I was more worried to be the left out one no one wants to take in to their groups and I will be like the loner. hahaha okay I admit I'm terrified to be alone. Especially in this kind of situations.

As time went by, I guess I'm starting to fit in now and it may have taken hundreds of baby steps but at least there's progress. I do still get homesick every now and then but I'm glad I'm staying with close family friends instead of in a hostel. It really helps staying with people you're close with that you can call your second family because you'll ultimately feel less lonely with the companionship of familiar faces. I'm roomies with my childhood friend which I'm glad that I am because she keeps me sane as I talk like shit loads and cannot imagine living alone without going nuts.

Truth be told, I've always dreamt of studying abroad like in the US or UK because of how nice a different lifestyle would be like and envied my friends who had the chance to do so. Until today I still pinch myself thinking, "This is really happening and I really am living my dream of studying abroad". Okay la not far like a 20 hour flight kind of far but still, abroad.

Singapore is not too bad la and I'm starting to like this country despite its PMS-ing weather. Yeah PMS-ing weather cuz it will be sunny and 5 mins later raining heavy as shit and suddenly stop. When it rains, its like the roof is gonna fly off and I think I also will fly away wan. There was one morning the rain was so heavy, the streets were flooded and I got soaked. Not because of the pouring rain but the "so smart" drivers who just speed through the puddles and I got splashed not one, not two but THREE fxcking times in one day. FML. That was when I really missed my car back in KL hahaha! KL people damn pampered with the luxury of owning a car lo, cuz it was shocking to see those Singaporeans just go through the rain like it's nothing. LIKE WTF!? But anyway that was the day my roomie said, "Welcome to Singapore." Okay SG, I got your official welcome real clear already.

So there was this other time where I had terrible diahorrea in the morning. And I had class in the morning. Thankfully, the family I'm staying with gave me a lift to my second bus stop (I take 2 buses to school which takes an hour fml) and I arrived just on time. Every now and then I get to carpool along to the nearest MRT which I'm really blessed for. You may think that's nothing but to me I'll always remember these little things people have did for me and will always repay the favour whenever I can.

It's been 1 of out 18 months, and the most important thing I've learnt is to be thankful. Everyday I wakeup feeling grateful for what I have, for the opportunity that I've been given to study abroad as not everyone has that chance to, and nonetheless the sacrifices and hardship my parents done to send me here. Seeing the currency depreciate day by day makes things pressuring for me to work harder so that I can prove to my parents that the money put in to my education was worth it.

So to those who are going to study abroad as well, or even just furthering their studies, keep this in mind and always, always be thankful for what you are given and remember to give back. :)

Till next time!
♥